11:23 pm
22 October 2016

Mugabe Admits He is Still President Because of Free Travel

President Robert Mugabe has come to the open on why he is clinging on to power after 36 years of unmitigated rule. He said political commentators and economist all around the world were totally missing the point as some have said he is a power-monger, afraid of trial at the ICC amongst other insults. In an interview with a local paper, President Mugabe finally let the cat out the bag which left the journalist incredulous. This was a rare interview in which His Excellency allowed the journalist to feel free to ask him any question whatsoever. “Your Excellency, a lot of people want to know why after 36 years of your most excellent rule you do not want to rest and pass on the button to someone else like Emmerson Mnangagwa, your senior Vice President who has been loyal to you for more than four decades,” asked the journalist, feeling goose-bumps that he had finally asked the million dollar question everyone has been afraid to ask. “Ha ha ha,” Mugabe laughed, before lifting his glasses with his finger. “I will answer you,” he said. “Your question is subtle, huh,” observed Mugabe with a half-smile. “You are asking three things. First is why I am not retiring. Second is why I am not appointing Mnangagwa as my successor, and third is if am not afraid that someone will take over and mess everything up after I leave. Well, I will just answer the first one.”  “Air Zimbabwe is why I am not retiring.”

mugabe flying

“Look, I get to travel to for free! No costs whatsoever! Everything is paid by the taxpayers as I go to Singapore to see my new grandchild, Malaysia, China, Japan, India, South Africa, Brazil. I mean, I have been everywhere, you see! And the older I get, the more I feel like traveling. Tell me if I will still enjoy these benefits after retiring! Morgan lost it! I thought he would figure it out, or one of his members, but they could not. If he had guaranteed that Air Zimbabwe would give me and my family free travel, I would have hung my boots in 2013. But he doesn’t get it. The Americans and the Europeans have also kept me on the travel ban list. That’s a blunder!