Do you actually love your husband or wife, or did you settle? I asked because the love of my life is with some else and my mom is settling with someone she doesn’t love as much as someone she had before.
Very interesting question.
I have married a girl whom I never met & talked for 20 years. She is also not well educated and very new to city life.
First Incident: We moved to Bangalore, India as part of my job. One day, the house owner come to my house asking for rent. She is very shy and didn’t answer to him. Owner looks at her with a strange look and contacted me for rent. I resolved the rent issue later with owner.
Second Incident: I am very much, a talkative person. I started talking to my wife asking some questions. She barely replied to 1 question from of my 10 questions. I felt very strange at that point of time.
Third Incident: I took my wife for shopping. I stepped into the escalator in the shopping mall and thought my wife was following me. After I reach the half way; I have turned back and found my wife is still standing, looking strangely at the escalator. I understand the situation and quickly went back to take her to upstairs.
Fourth Incident: I realized that my wife is feeling scare to use escalator. So, I have decided to use Lift for going to downstairs. We both entered into the lift. Lift started going down. Suddenly, someone hugged me tight. I looked back and it is my wife. I felt very strange and just moved on by ignoring it.
Fifth Incident: My wife is a pure vegetarian (never even touch Egg). I am a big fan of non-veg dishes. Since cooking non-veg at home is impossible; i went to restaurant to buy my favorite chicken biryani for my dinner and took it to the house. I opened the packet to eat. My wife closed the room door and didn’t come out until I finish my my dinner.
Sixth Incident: I fed up and asked my wife about her behavior. She started crying and crying. I was very shocked and didn’t understand why she was crying. To get the situation into control, I made her calm down.
After all these incidents, I have started thinking about why my wife is behaving like this. Slowly, I realized her situation. She is from a village. Travelling to Metropolitan city is the first time in her life. She never talk to a stranger in her life time before marriage. She never seen escalators, Lift before marriage.
From the next day on-wards; I started to help my wife where ever needed and started liking her.
After one year; My wife has changed a lot. She can speak with strangers without fear. She can to shopping herself and buy the stuff needed. Very importantly; she answer and listen to my all non-sense talks. Also, she corrects me if my opinion is wrong any incident.
Gradually, We started loving each other. But, It took 4 years for both of us to understand each other.
We are happy family now with 2 kids (Daughter and Son). I love my wife more than anyone in the world.
This article first appeared on Quora