Dear Aunty Africa,
I’m a 16-year-old girl and doing my GCSEs soon. My parents think everything rides on getting good grades and getting into a good university but I’m not like that.
I love my friends, going out with them, trying make-up and I’d love to go out with a boy.
My friend and I started talking about sex a year ago, saying we’d like to try it.
We signed up to a dating website for virgins aimed at guys who want to go with girls like us. We said we were 18.
I started chatting to this older guy who’s 31. He told me he was married but he had always liked younger girls. I arranged to meet him in town and he gave me a silver bracelet. He said I was beautiful.
I arranged to meet him the following week after school at his house. He gave me a glass of wine and said it would help to relax me. I didn’t really like the taste.
He kissed me and it felt nice and then he asked me if I’d like to go upstairs.
We had sex and I’ve been seeing him twice a week after school since then.
His wife gets home from work later in the evening and he says he likes to have sex with me in my school uniform.
I feel bad about him cheating on his wife but I don’t know her and I do enjoy the sex.
My friend changed her mind and hasn’t met up with anyone. She says she’s worried I’ll get pregnant but he says he’s had the snip so it can’t happen.
AUNTY AFRICA SAYS: This man is exploiting you and your innocence. He is young to have had a vasectomy and may well be lying about having had the snip just to persuade you to have unprotected sex with him.
If you get pregnant you can be sure he won’t stand by you and you are risking a sexual infection.
I know you want to rebel against your parents’ strictness and their values but don’t do it in such a self-destructive way.
Please tell this man he should be ashamed of himself and stop seeing him immediately.
Talk to your parents about how you feel. Say that their strict rules make you feel rebellious rather than teaching you respect for their values.